I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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