i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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