Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
