sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
