Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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