He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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