You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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