At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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