Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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