I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
