We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
