So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
