I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
