wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
