So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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