quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
