I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
