She's JV to your varsity
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
