I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
