Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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