is your mom at the bar?
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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