they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
