A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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