Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
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Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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