brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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