How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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