My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize