If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I fill condoms, not promises.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
