He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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