Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
