Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This is the high leading the old right now
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
