How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
