grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize