cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
