You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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