Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
