Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
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bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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