This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
