he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize