I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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