I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
