I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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