Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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