Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Randomize
