I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
