it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
