I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
