If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize