Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
