im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
