He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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