no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
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Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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