The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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