I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
