It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
