Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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