If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
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He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.