Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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