I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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