i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
